Seriously I really can't. The blog title is a reference to a song from Oklahoma by the way. Here's the story: Today I was at work ten and a half hours...and it was Monday All Dadblasted Day Long! I swear if it was not one thing, it was another. A couple of my co-workers are off all week so I am doing their stuff and some of it is stuff I have no clue how to do. I also had a major fight with a label printer. It was bad. I had to call Josh. Anyway, we had a vendor coming to inspect our biosafety hoods. I was supposed to leave at 3:30 cause I'm working 8 hours instead of 9 this week and I still got there at normal morning time. This guy didn't show up til after mid day even though he was supposed to be there at like 8:30. Huff, okay, I can deal. Then he wanted to get four hoods done. That automatically meant I wouldn't get home til after 4:30. Then at 4:30 he decides he wants to do just one more so I didn't leave til five til 6. I was ready to cry by that time.
The thing is he asked me what time I normally left and was staying later okay. Even though I was mentally saying NO NO NO I want to go home now! I Could Not force it out of my mouth! All I could say was "I'll stay as long as you need me to". What is wrong with me??? It isn't just this guy, this isolated incidence. I am basically incapable of speaking my mind. Josh asked me this weekend where I wanted to eat. He got the options down to a few different things. I had an opinion. I knew where I wanted to go but I COULD NOT just say it. All I can say is "whatever you want". My brain is screaming my thoughts but they do not translate to vibrations in my vocal cords and thus do not become words.
Hello, my name is Sierra and I am a complete and total people pleaser. It makes me mad. I need a 12 step program.
To make matters worse, I even invited the man to my house because I didn't want him to have to eat alone, even though I was sort of hoping he wouldn't come because I had no chicken thawed. I'm a sick, sick person.
What about you? Can you say no? HOW do you say no? Or, like me, are you a people pleaser?