I am just warning you up front that I'm not sure this post has a lot of a point. It's more just a stream of thoughts.
I have wanted to go on a mission trip to Africa since I was a very little girl. I used to think that I would be a "professional" missionary to some tribe in Africa. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my church is heading to Uganda next July. When I first heard the news I thought "That's it. I'm going. Woo hoo!" There was an informational meeting two Sundays ago. Of course I went. I really thought I was basically going to figure out how much money I needed to scrounge up to go. When I got there and was listening though...it just didn't totally click into place.
The church is partnering with an organization called Sweet Sleep. Basically they minister to displaced orphans and give them bedding and a mosquito net (malaria is a real threat) and a Bible. The also give out antiretroviral drugs to kids who are HIV+ and have already registered with the organization. These are obviously great aims and things that need to be done so I don't know why I'm not jumping up and down to go like I thought I would be.
Part of my issue is that I would be holding precious little orphaned babies so they could get a few hours of deep sleep (they are really afraid at night and get very little sleep). I don't know if I could hold a basically unwanted/unclaimed child and then just leave him or her in that place. I just don't know if I could do it. Another part of the issue is that no one seems to be really pleased with the prospect of me going, besides Eli that is. Everyone thinks it would be dangerous and risky and emotionally rough on me and expensive. I guess that's something to consider. The final issue is that I just don't know if I'm supposed to go. My head says yes because it is a good organization and I've already wanted to do a mission trip like this...but my heart isn't necessarily on the same page.
Yep that's the entirety of the post for tonight. haha. Such focus.