when you grow up? Do you remember that question? I think as a child I was asked that no less than three times a day and usually in that annoying voice that adults use with kids. There is the cute baby voice and there is the you-are-a-total-imbecile-child voice. The former is cute, the latter made me want to hit adults. I actually had a guy use the imbecile child voice on me the other day; I had to take lots of calming breaths to refrain from telling him where he could put that tone. I digress.
I'm 22. I'm not collecting social security yet but I am contributing to the pot. Why do I still not know what I want to be? Apparently I wasn't asked enough as a child! The reason this has really come to the forefront of my mind is that Josh has been accepted to pharmacy school (He's so smart. And handsome. I'm sure the handsomeness helped him get in). I'm proud of him, its a Huge deal to get in! However (could you see the "but" coming?), we have been working through a difference of opinion about whether or not he should go. I see a lot of problems, thirteen to be exact. I won't bother to list them here, it's a lot of typing. Basically we have talked this decision to death and are finally getting closer to a conclusion (we hope, think, pray). Last night we sat down with a spreadsheet I had painstakingly made out with all sorts of the money considerations on it.
We've arrived at the point. Are you relieved? I really planned on making a point. Josh and I had always planned on me staying home to take care of any children that might one day come along. That sounds really great to me. My mom was a stay at home mom for most of my life and it worked really great. If I stayed home with future babies then it prudent for Josh to go to pharmacy school. If I didn't stay home then the situation flip flops and it is prudent for him to not go. Now I feel conflicted. I want Josh to do whatever he thinks is best and whatever God leads him to do, but after he's decided and chips fall where they may, what would I like to do?
Barbie and Mom always told me I could be anything I wanted (I have a Barbie soapbox I'll get to soon, eye roll). My first job is to support Josh til he makes his decision but after that I still don't know what I want to be in life. I work now and it's nice to be financially contributing and busy, but I've never tried it the other way. I had been planning on going back to school before Josh got his acceptance but now I'm wondering if I should bother. There isn't much sense in having a Master's or Doctorate to change diapers. So in my mind I settle on the fact that one day I will be a stay at home mom. Then my mind rebels (it has that really bad tendency). What if I feel stuck? What if I want to leave my house? Why did I spend years in college to get a degree I'm not going to use? I still get excited when I BLAST DNA sequences; it's awesome and fun. Am I ready to give that exciting part of work up? I have the ideal lifestyle there in my mind but I don't know if it's practical. I think if I were choosing, I would be a professor. I LOVED student teaching at UGA, it was the coolest job I've ever had. I don't know though, I don't guess there is really a point in any more schooling if it's unnecessary. That is assuming that the job of Toys 'R' Us kid is taken, cause really that would be the best-est job ever!
Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? If you are a little ahead of me in this whole game of life, how did you choose between staying home and remaining in the workforce? Growing up isn't nearly as fun as other people made it look!