Things have been rough at my apartment lately. (Have you noticed that "apartment" doesn't flow as well as "house" in sentences? People ask me all the time where my house is and then I have to explain that I don't really have a house just an apartment. Random thought of the day...let's be honest...random thought of the hour.) Back on topic. I have been having killer headaches. My depression meds are voided by other meds I'm on. I'm just glum. I have no reason to be. Life around me is great! I have the most loving, caring, wonderful husband on God's green earth. I have a job that I like 4 days out of 5. I have a great family; a super awesome mom who I am becoming just like, a dad with excellent advice, and a brother who still thinks his sister is cool enough to text! Depression doesn't ask if you are at a good point in your life to cry all the time, it doesn't check the situation before it invites itself in, it just plops down at the table and feeds on your joy. I'm tired of being sick with headaches and I'm sick of being tired from depression. In honor of my sick and tiredness today I am listing the top ten little things in life that make my soul happy. That deep down "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where?"...(continues singing in head, I won't subject you to it, it's off key).
In no order, I now present...
My Happy Little List :
1. Bookstores. I love 'em. Can't get enough. I can spend hours. Sometimes I just walk and down the aisles just touching the binding on the books. I love the smell. Knowledge and paper and coffee all rolled into one nose filling scent.
2. Chocolate. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, Easter bunnies, truffles, with peanuts, with chili pepper seasoning. Any way I can get it (except white, yuck!).
3. Musicals on dvd. I just bought Les Mis the 25th anniversary live concert edition. I could watch it on repeat. I turn up the volume and sing with everything I have inside me. I laugh, I cry, it's magical. I love ANY musical there is no wrong in musicals.
4. Josh kissing the back of my neck while I cook. Something about that just says home and comfort. It's great.
5. Dresses with tulle skirts. Even though the tulle scratches your legs those are by far the cutest dresses. They stand out just the right amount and make you want to twirl. Add a pair of pretty white sandals and you are ready for a night out, substitute flip flops and you are casual enough for the beach.
6. One specific park in Knoxville. I Love this park. It has a five mile walking trail lined with beautiful flowering trees. It's right next to river and has Gorgeous houses on the other side. I like to put in music and pray and walk and walk and walk and imagine I live in one of those dream houses.
7. Hot chocolate and egg sandwiches on Sunday nights in the winter. Dad doesn't cook to speak of but he will make this and it is sooooo good and we sit and talk as a family while we scald our tongues to such a degree we can't taste the sandwiches. It's a good time.
8. Having my hands rubbed. Mom or Josh will sometimes rub my hands if I am having a panic attack or stressing and it is so calming. It's just relaxing and since I use my hands all day long it is great on those tired muscles. In all of about two minutes I start to drift off.
9. The feeling on Saturday morning when you roll over and see the clock says 6:07 but you don't have to get up. You pull the covers up to your chin turn over and go back to sleep til 8:30.
10. Clearing up the kitchen while Josh starts to study in the living room. I know I'm supposed to be all "I am woman, hear me roar. I'm going to take the business world by storm. Yada yada yada." I'm just not though. There is no more fulfilling a feeling to me then knowing that my husband's tummy is full and that the laundry is the wash and that the kitchen is getting cleaner. Success at work doesn't give me anywhere close to that peaceful, complete feeling. I like being a wife and it's my number one priority. It's what I feel best doing. Especially if after starting the dishwasher I get to go watch a musical!
Tell me your "happies". What makes your soul feel warm?