Thursday, June 4, 2015

Five Suggestions for Birth Father's Gift

Father's Day is fast approaching and it's already passed you by if you, and by you I mean me, have to send a birth father's day gift by the first of June.  Much like Mother's Day, I was unsure what to get Cordie's BF.  The natural response is head to Pinterest.  I was horrified to discover a dearth of hits.  If Pinterest doesn't know what I should send, then NO ONE IN THE WORLD knows!  After rocking back and forth in the fetal position for about a week, I found myself wandering through Target picking up and putting down giftlike things.

I think it's easy to forget about BFs.  I know when I was praying for my future adopted baby and his/her mom in the years before I met them, I didn't often think about the BF.  It's easy to stereotype and say he's a deadbeat or wants nothing to do with the baby or doesn't even know there is a baby.  While I'm sure each of those situations happen in lots of adoptions, Cordie has a BF who is in the picture and who really struggled with placing her because he cared so much for her.  That's something to celebrate.  Below are a few suggestions about gifts you can send to a BF to show that you remember that he made a sacrifice too and you hold him in high esteem for it and want him to feel included in Father's Day.

1.  Traditional Father's Day gifts-There are lots of cute mugs, shirts, picture frames, etc that all say something great about dads.  A picture in a dad frame for a BF's desk would be appropriate and sweet.  In the future I may send something like this, but I think you need to know a bit about your BF's mindset about adoption before sending a traditional dad gift.  I know that Cordie's BF was very sad to place her and I don't want to rub salt in that and seem inconsiderate.  In years to come, when emotions aren't quite as high, he might well like something that says "Dad'.

2.  A Day in a Box-Another avenue I considered was a package that would make one full day fun.  Try sending a mason jar of muffin mix for breakfast, tickets for a movie matinee, and a gift card for dinner after the movie.  The great thing about this is that it can be as general or specific as you like based on how well you know the BF.  Movie tickets are great for a general thing, but you could do just about anything:  a hat with a light and fishing lure for late night fishing, a month's subscription to an online video game provider, whatever floats his boat.  The point is to make the entire day about him.

3.  Matching T-shirts for Him and Baby-Father's Day snuck up on me.  Had I had more time to order online I would have considered something like this
Youth & Adult “Plays with Cars” Premium T-shirt Pack – CarpeViam Mark & Pax are getting this!
This was made by a company called Carpe Viam, but I'm sure there are lots of places you can find other styles.  Take a picture of your little one in the matching shirt to send with it.

4.  A Gift Card-How unoriginal, I know.  I so wanted to find something better than just a gift card.  The fact of the matter is that I have only met Cordie's BF once and know very little about him.  It may not be super thoughtful, but at least it shows you are trying and who doesn't love a gift card?  Sometimes you have to work with limited information and shipping costs.

5.  "Work with What You Know"-Like I said, I don't know a lot about Cordie's BF, but I do know that he is a car guy.  I wanted to get him something car related because that was the one thing I knew he would enjoy.  I know nothing about cars and it's a broad field.  So I found a coffee table book about cars that shaped America.  I didn't want a book you really had to read because he may not be much of the reading type, but this book has tons of pictures and diagrams about every type of American made car.  Even Josh, who also likes cars but not reading, flipped through it so I figured it was a hit.  I also took pictures of Cordie "working" on a car to include with the book.  Basically this gift boils down to making a connection even if you don't have a lot of info to go on.

 (Don't worry, we cleaned that before we let her have it!)

Those are my BF gift suggestions.  There are many many many more out there, but thankfully our gift is done and sent for this year!

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