The worst of the hormones have passed through now and I am ready to blog about why it is okay that I haven't been able to get pregnant. You can only be so cheery when you are willing to bowl over small people in an attempt to get the last of chocolate ice cream. So in no particular order:
It's okay I'm not great with child because...
...Josh and I can hopefully go on a trip after he graduates. You can't fly if you are six months pregnant or more.
...I can stop pushing protein. I have eaten chicken until I am about to sprout feathers. I'm not a huge meat fan. Glad I can stop that!
...I can diet. I've gained several pounds and now I can work on getting them off without worrying if I am depriving a growing fetus of nutrients.
...I can have a glass of wine if I want it.
...I don't have to send any texts to Josh saying he better feel romantic because I am ovulating. That doesn't really get anyone in the mood, FYI.
...I can eat sushi any time I want it.
...I don't have to shake hands with multiple doctors, nurses, and random people while they stand in between my legs. Seriously, introductions should be made before the underwear is off. That is even one night stand etiquette!
...I can stop counting. Counting til ovulation, counting til I can test, forever counting and not living.
...I can focus on other things in life besides all things baby related. My brain needs a break! I dimly recall a time when I wasn't completely wrapped up in "what ifs" and "maybe this months".
...Josh and I won't have this kind of alone time ever again. I can actually enjoy it and do couple things.
...my house is quiet. That is really peaceful and little ones aren't exactly peaceful.
...I'm finally in a job I like so I can focus on my career for a bit.
...God has a plan. Josh and I have prayed long and hard about the child we so desperately want. If we don't have a precious bundle yet, it isn't because God isn't hearing our please. It's because He has something else in mind. I've suggested that a baby would be a good thing, but He hasn't said yes yet. God has bigger plans for us than we have so this has become a lesson in trust.